Of course those gentle readers too young to have lived through listening to The Beatles "Number 9" backwards to see if Paul McCarty was REALLY dead probably don't get the INCREDIBLE humor of the title of this entry.
But no, I am not dead and, yes, I'm gearing up for another reinvention.
Let's list 'em.
* Foster child
* Adoptee
* College Student
* Wife
* Mom
* Wife/Mom
* Divorced Person
* Mom
* Teacher/Mom
* Graduate Student/Teacher/Mom
* Teacher/Mom
* Disabled ME/CFS patient/Mom
* Disabled Lyme patient (The kids have all graduated from college but I'm still a mom. And a grandma!)
Feeling kind of IMPATIENT and ready to heal. Ok, I was ready for that in 2002 but think THIS is the year that brings a new level of healing. Done a TON of spiritual "work" (if you don't work on it, it doesn't count ... really); am seeing a counselor (NOT dating one, I'm the client) in an attempt to make smoother transitions, and am about to see the new Lyme doctor. Ok. But first comes the visit to the GRANDSON and parents.
In an attempt to feel less useless I've been knitting again. So far I have an incredible cool unfinished cowl scarf, adorable unfinished booties for a baby born in September, and two gifts cast on for my already here grandchild and for one I am awaiting. Yes, you heard me correctly, four unfinished projects. All I need to do is sew up the seam on the cowl and I can reduce it to three, but hey, I like even numbers. Actually, I prefer odd on MULTIPLE levels so I'll get that sewn up tonight.
Unto the reinvention. I've decided that worrying about not getting better isn't serving me well. Not well at all so I'm planning on what to do when I AM better enough to work from home. Not to worry, I'm not going to tell you what my "plan" is but it DOES involve owning a domain. Being the master or rather mistress of my own domain is a tad bit overwhelming to me. I mean, it's 10 bunks a year, how much commitment is that? Not much but it's the THOUGHT of commitment, the THOUGHT of ... whoa, this could WORK, that keeps me from registering ruth-james.com
Now no one rush right out there and snap it up! I did want ruthjames.com, of course, but some ACTRESS in England has it. Really? REALLY? Are you kidding me? I checked out her page, nothing too impressive, and so am pretty certain ruth-james.com wasn't chosen because it's supposed to be MINE.
But first, I've got to conquer blogging. Someone PLEASE tell me how to insert photos and nifty stuff into this?
Does ANYONE read this? Throw me a bone, leave me a comment.
No, I did not sew up the seam on my cowl last night but I did have a clarifiying phone conversation.
ReplyDeleteAll about clarification.
AND, I just edited two typos. How come I don't see those no matter how much I proofread? Proof, my friends, that neuro Lyme is really neuro cog!!!
Oh. And I threw myself my own bone. Come on, really? Yeah. Not an infrequent maneuver.
ReplyDeleteReinvention is good, and helps to harness the power of positive with fresh thinking. Easier said than done of course, since it's way too easy to fall back into the old thought patterns that held you down. This is one of my daily struggles, keeping my mind from wandering into the dark place it's been so accustomed to. It takes persistence. Much like the way a river or creek cuts into the earth more and more over time, and similar to the way you can magnetize some metals by rubbing a magnet across it in the same direction over and over, such is the way the thoughts in our brains create ruts that are harder and harder to escape from over time as we continue with the same negative thought processes. Difficult, but not impossible.
ReplyDeleteI've never actually blogged with my Blogspot account, so I can't tell you how to add pics to your posts.
Oh, and, totally got the Beatles reference! "Turn me on dead man!" ;-)
Ooooh, thank you ... like a well spring of life, your comment.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I can wander forth into that dark place w/out too much help. YIKES. Takes all the thought stopping I possess at times.
"We just wanna change the world."
Hi Ruth, perhaps I will admit to you my chronic illnesses. I've always wondered what type of person I would have been if I didn't have them. No cures for so many things. It's been a year since I found FB and it's added a lot of interest to my life. Dark Winter is where I live.
DeleteHang in there, Tweeded. Dark Winter, huh?
ReplyDelete@ Tweeded ... I think we'd be who we are now although our activities would be different. What would we be doing? Lots of things that we can only contemplate now.
ReplyDelete